Demons! Also known as people I will hopefully never run into at Diner (or the newly opened Marlow and Daughters, best bacon ever.): Shiny gremlin Allison Sarofim and stylist lucifer Rachel Zoe, pictured here in Miami.
Diner has a real nice celery root purée and a cabbage salad right now. They’ve also updated their flatware. Notice this bold black-and-white coffee cup, a departure from the cream-and-green of yore. These are desperate times, however, and they call for dramatic decisive color schemes.
I went to Diner on Friday, ate the corned beef hash—not as good as Relish’s, weirdly—and a kale salad which was quite delicious. In other news, 565,553 have watching this video of co-eds at Iowa State dancing to Flo Rida’s Get Low? The video is at once heartwarming and also very off-putting.
The toasted walnuts in the Marlow & Sons granola ($7 in a bag, to go) have a bad fishy after taste. This after taste is slightly bitter and can spoil an entire bite. Hell, it can spoil the entire yoghurt and granola plastic cup. And once that is spoiled the entire day has been scotched. Depending on the day, an entire week can be a failure based on this solitary crap walnut taste.
A friend of mine recently derided the Diner Burger as being so bloody it is impossible to eat. Though I don’t necessarily agree, the burger at Diner isn’t the best burger in New York. (I award that distinction to the burger at Good World). Sanguine or not, Diner’s burger is a bargain. At $11, you get a boulder of meat on a warm brioche bun and a swarm of fries.
The same can not be said of the $11 burger at General Greene in Fort Greene. The newly opened restaurant looks good. It smells good. The things on the menu seem good. But it really just makes me miss Diner.
For instance, they’re out of iced tea? Nope! You make me iced tea. You take tea and a cup of ice and make it for me. And no, you don’t bring me a tea bag, a porcelain cup of hot water a glass of ice. That’s a mess.
And also, YOU DON’T CHARGE $11 FOR A CRAPPY OVERDONE BURGER. The meat was tasteless and greyly overcooked. The bun was stale, a fact that toasting couldn’t hide. And the fries. THE FRIES WERE POTATO CHIPS. This was an $8 burger tops. To charge $11—the same price a bloody good burger sets you back at Diner—is just absurd.
Walking to Diner this morning, I passed $50,000 worth of meat in front of Peter Luger. It was guarded by this nice white-coated man. His name I believe was Dr. Meat. Sadly, bad news at Marlow and Sons. They’ve discontinued serving custom-made granola, fruit and yogurt in a porcelain bowl. Now we’ll have to make to with the soggy plastic-cupped version, stuck in a sad cold case all day. Apparently they were losing money by making it fresh. Just another sign summer is over and the world is going to shit.
Hello there. Your name is Beth. You are a dancer who also works at Diner, mostly during lunch. It is to your credit that my iced teas always come with simple syrup. Who knows what shall occur in this fall. Perhaps I’ll switch to hot tea and lump sugar but it is an exploration I look forward to making with you.
I read you at Diner this morning! You were an article about tough guys and puppies. You were in the Times. You made me smile. Call me.
Rare early morning spotting of one Pete Hale, a waiter/bartender at Diner. The man is exceedingly tall and exceedingly nice. His brown hair sweeps sideways from his head like a low-lying cloud on a mountain top. He’s like Paul Bunyan but really really into the Greenmarket though he has issues with how the organization blocks small farmers from participating.
It says on your Facebook page, Robert Bermudez Cordell, that you are a bartender at Diner. Hallo! I’ve never seen you. Mostly I notice the tall nice man named Pete Hart and the Sunday brunch guy who is stoner hot. But not you. You are familiar to me in other ways. Weren’t you the guy who did the voiceover for the Bay of Pigs invasion in 2006’s film The Good Shepherd? Yes, it was you. Just as I thought!
